Digestable

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January 19th

digestable.substack.com

January 19th

Issue 43.1

Jan 19, 2021
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January 19th

digestable.substack.com

Good morning!

Welcome to Issue 43.1 of Digestable, your daily mouthful of real things happening in the world, minus alarmist pandemic news.

Today’s news, fermented:

Sometimes there’s no time to write a whole newsletter before work! This is one of those days.

A few notable things:

  • It’s the last day of Trump’s term (finally)—Sean Spicer is commemorating the occasion by applying to the White House press corps.

  • Some of NYC’s most essential workers struck over the weekend, demanding a raise of $1/hour (oh capitalism) for making it possible for the entire city to eat.

  • Amanda Gorman, who will read an original poem at tomorrow’s inauguration, will be the youngest person to ever do so.

And there’s so much more.

The galaxy cluster Abell 2261, captured by the Hubble Space Telescope. The brightest galaxy, center left, is about one million light-years across and about 10 times the diameter of the Milky Way.

(via)

*Hot Goss*

Brought to you by the superb Latifah Azlan.

It is with great sadness that I present to you the news that our favorite celebrity couple of 2020, Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas, has broken up. A BenAna Split, if you will?!

I have no idea what could have gone wrong with a relationship that had so much laughter and so muchaffection. They were so clearly in love that the Washington Post of all people crowned them the pandemic's "only" tabloid celebrities as though they were the second coming of Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart. I guess democracy isn't the only thing that dies in darkness.

I'm very curious about the timeline though. The last time we received any BenAna updates, it was that Ana had sold her house and moved in with Ben in early December. Then, at the start of the new year, there were reports that Ana had spent the holiday in Cuba with a close friend instead of with Ben -- complete with photos of her new haircut! Very clearly a sign of a woman in romantic distress. Then a couple of weeks ago, we saw these iconic photos of Ben struggling to carry Dunkin' Donuts and looking a lot more disheveled than he has in months now -- a clear sign of Ben Affleck in romantic distress.

Twitter avatar for @BestAffleck
ʙᴇꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ʙᴇɴ ᴀꜰꜰʟᴇᴄᴋ @BestAffleck
Ben Affleck with buff arms spills @dunkindonuts delivery (31/December/2020)
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3:15 PM ∙ Dec 31, 2020
5,610Likes935Retweets

And now, the split. It seems as though things progressed very quickly south in a matter of weeks! But sources say that Ana was the one to call off the relationship, which, judging by the pure theatrics from the Affleck camp, I would believe. 

Twitter avatar for @ArmasUpdates
Ana de Armas Updates @ArmasUpdates
A life-sized cardboard cutout of Ana de Armas from inside Ben Affleck’s residence was seen being thrown out into a trash can. (January 18, 2021)
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2:07 AM ∙ Jan 19, 2021
29,254Likes5,756Retweets

To be honest, Ben and Ana have really elevated my standards for being romanced. I used to settle for being posted on my boo's Instagram but now, if my photo isn't going to be turned into a life-sized, cardboard cutout of an ornament for my man's lawn, I don't want it. So pour one out for the purveyors of modern courtship, folks. We'll certainly miss you on ~*Hot Goss*~!

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