Welcome to Issue 41.5 of Digestable, your daily mouthful of real things happening in the world, minus alarmist pandemic news.
Today’s news, fermented:
Wowiee! One week into 2021.
Here’s some fun weekend reads:
The particular kind of diabolical that is Chevron’s call for a peaceful transition of power
The corporations funding the end of the pandemic
Riot on the Hill, by one of my favorite urbanists, Mike Davis
Black Voters Understood What the Stakes Were, for some end-of-week coup reading
And a follow-up to our knife-toting animal friends.
Caro's Advice Corner
I need advice on a friendship of 9 years ending. My best friend and I of 9 years from middle school have recently decided to end our friendship. I have been having a rough time with the adjustment of not having my person to go to and just not having her in my life anymore. The friendship was getting toxic and I know that this decision right now is for the best, but what do you suggest going forward?
Leaving a friendship that was no longer serving you is one of the toughest decisions to make, but it’s oftentimes necessary. I think friendship breakups are 100x worse than relationship breakups, there is no feeling like being separated from the person that has come to know you inside and out, the person that knew you before a significant other even came close to understanding your inner workings. We lean on our friends for so much, they become a part of our families, of ourselves, and that is so hard to let go of.
But I am here to tell you Bff-less, that we can often outgrow friends, and as tough as that can be to come to terms with, it is often in our own best interest to step away. I can tell you from experience that this can often come with self blame….was the inevitable breakdown of this friendship my fault? Was I selfish in our friendship? What could I have done to salvage it? While this self-doubt and questioning comes naturally, I do not think there is merit in giving those thoughts and questions validity. The reality is that in life, we grow at different paces. Outgrowing friendships is one of those tragic facts of life that we oftentimes do not want to face. And sometimes you do have to be selfish. Sometimes you shift those questions to say, was staying in that friendship in my best interest? Was I giving and receiving the same amount of energy or effort in this friendship? Was this friendship conducive to my growth?
Bff-less, I had a best friend from my freshman year of high school through my senior year of college that truly was my everything. She was one of the only people that truly knew me at that time, that could make me laugh like no one else could, that could comfort me when no one else could. Realizing that the friendship was becoming toxic was devastating. There was a lack of communication towards the end of it, it was rough, I lost so much self-esteem, and I was more upset than I had been in any break up that I had before. Moving forward, I started with self-forgiveness. Forgiveness for what I knew was my end of the blame, and forgiveness for allowing myself to be in a friendship that was not fostering my positive growth. I was gentle on myself, and most importantly, I trusted myself.
I knew what was best for me, and I honored that intuitiveness by stepping away. Once I started doing this work with myself, I started finding that same love and joy in other friendships. I found my people! People that helped me realize what I was looking for in friendship, what my needs were in a friendship, and what being a friend meant to me. I am a true believer that the closer we come to knowing ourselves, the more we gravitate towards folks that share our values and principles. I could never have known that I need deep empathy and compassion in friendships if I wasn't deeply empathetic and compassionate towards myself. It starts with you! It always starts with you. As cliche as it is, befriending yourself first will always lead you to the people you are meant to share this life with.
With love and compassion,
DJ M0RO’s low-key Music Show
The first entry in the audio chronicles of 2021 for this aspiring DJ is a little off the usual path of my music musings of the last nine months. And that makes it even more exciting, because who doesn’t need a little shaking up of routine right about now?
So, let me tell you about Saber, MN. An original radio-style play created for your ears, screen-free (although you can watch a visually immersive trailer to get you in the spirit). Written and conceived originally as a play for the stage, the pandemic caused artist Elle Thoni to reimagine what creating art during lockdown could mean. So they quickly mobilized the artists and collaborators to shift the piece to be accessible to those of us seeking story, connection, and guidance in quarantine, and the result is absolute magic.
I listened to it while on a walk around my neighborhood (you can access for free on the site or contribute some $ for a download - money split between the artists and local indiginous watershed protection). Saber, MN is at once haunting, mystical, hopeful, and instructive. What would happen if we actually had to face the consequences of our environmental policies and actions?
The story follows the fictional small-town of Saber, Minnesota through the reckoning with their economy, citizens, and relationship with the natural world. As the townspeople grapple with the realities of human-centric policies, they must face the beasts within and about them.
Scored by very talented composer Carlisle Evans Peck, who also has a new EP out that you should definitely give some time to, the whole soundscape of Saber is absolutely enchanting. And if you’re into physical embodiment, include the movement practices lead by cast-member and dancer Laura Levinson into your pre- and post-listening experience (found halfway down the page here).
So off you go to your weekend, and I hope you carry this incredibly unique experience with you as a chance to fill up the soul, even if just a bit. If you want to learn more about Line 3 resistance, and the causes Saber, MN is linked to, follow and donate to Honor the Earth, the Giniw Collective, and Gitchigumi Scouts.
Brought to you by the superb Latifah Azlan.
Deep breaths in and out. How are we feeling this morning, friends? We're already at the end of the first week of January and already so much has happened that I don't even know what to write today. After the drama of this past five days, I've decided that I'm not going to end the week on more tales of turmoil from around the country. Instead, here's some ~*Hot Goss*~ that I hope will serve as a reminder to us all that in 2021, we're severing ties with what doesn't serve us and our people and putting our wellbeing first.
Today is the one year anniversary of Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan Markle's withdrawal from the British Royal Family (BRF). The couple's announcement last year came as a huge surprise to many people but it also came with the stipulation that the first year would be deemed a "transitional period" with a review at the end for the Sussexes. This was sort of a strategy for the BRF to save face after the shock of Harry and Meghan's announcement because it was quite obvious that the couple were quite determined to leave and never come back. I suppose the hope was that at the end of the one-year period, Harry would return to his family having realized that his happiness lies with them. In fact, the opposite happened. Harry and Meghan are staying low-key for the most part but they've snagged a couple of really lucrative business deals with companies like Spotify and Netflix, and are living their best lives with their son and dogs in Santa Barbara.
So a lot of people* (*royalists) have been waiting for bated breath for the one-year review, which was supposed in March. And then of course coronavirus swept the planet, with the United Kingdom announcing a new round of lockdowns to help curb the spread of the virus after another surge in cases. As Celebitchy points out, this is certainly a convenient excuse for the Sussexes to delay or opt out from the review altogether. But also... Prince Harry apparently hasn't even called to set up an appointment with the Queen for this review. Which LOL. I mean, if I had to spend several years of my life watching my wife be bullied by my family and their "handlers" in addition to having my accomplishments minimized in favor of embiggening my older brother's endeavors and being thrown under the bus for his incompetence.... I wouldn't pick up the feckin' phone either, you know? But I guess the royals and their people really had a completely different fantasy going on in their mind about what this one-year review would lead to and now they're realizing that the goodbye? It was real and it's still real to the Sussexes.
So yeah, it remains to be seen whether or not this "one year review" will happen. I mean if it's really that important, Zoom him in? I don't know what sorts of protocols exist for these royal conversations to be had but if the review is so integral to the process of severing ties from the family, there are ways to still conduct it without it having to be in person. But again, Harry hasn't called. Harry hasn't e-mailed. Harry hasn't created a when2meet to find time for this review to happen. Because Harry doesn't care. He's putting himself, his family, and his wellbeing first after years and years of having that being taken from him. And you know what? Good for him! This year, I hope we all find the strength to be as protective with our time and energy, and of our people as Harry (and Meghan) has been. If it doesn't serve you, send it back to whence it came.
I'll be back on Monday with more ~*Hot Goss*~ but until then stay safe, stay sane, and don't forget to hydrate. Happy weekend!