Good morning!
Welcome to Issue 31.5 of Digestable, your daily mouthful of real things happening in the world, minus alarmist pandemic news.
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Today’s news, fermented:
Yesterday, I saw a headline that made me grin. Then, Mollie Rose, aka DJ M0RO, sent that same article to me, so it seems imperative that I share it with you all.
It is Rudy Giuliani Is My Father. Please, Everyone, Vote for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.
As a New Yorker, I have white blood cells and red blood cells and Rudy Giuliani should not exist cells. What a hateable specimen.
I’m going into this weekend hoping that some other heiresses (Ivanka?!) will see the light. Anything’s possible these days.
Here is a small (and by small I means still large) rhino. Happy weekend y’all.
Caro's Advice Corner
Dear Caro,
I have never been one for scary movies, but lately I have been tempted to hop on the horror movie train. Maybe it’s the season, I have just reached that level of boredom this quarantine...anyways, any recommendations?
Sincerely,
Looking to be spooked
Dear Looking to be spooked,
I mean, could you have asked for funner advice this October!? Looking to be spooked, I GOT YOU. Now I do not pretend to be something that I am not, so disclaimer here, I have only recently been able to tolerate horror movies at the level that I do now. I have always been into horror, especially in literature, but have had a particularly difficult time digesting horror in the form of movies. There is something so realistic and terrifying actually seeing the visual gore that comes with horror movies, but I have learned horror is an EXCEPTIONAL vehicle for social commentary. So with that, here is my short list of horror movies to ease you into this spooky season:
Us: This movie scared the living daylight out of me…but holy sh*t, this movie is brilliant. Aside from my love for Jordan Peele’s visionary prowess, and Lupita Nyong’o’s talent on screen, this movie is just straight up GOOD. Without giving too much away, the movie is about a family trip that goes a bit...awry. Us’ metaphors and ending leave us with a million and one questions, but one thing is very clear, the commentary is reflected back on us. We are confronted with issues of capitalism in America...and who doesn’t love a good horror commentary on that.
Jennifer’s Body: Ok, there is SO much to unpack in this Mean Girls-esque, early 2000s horror flick. This horror comedy had me cackling at some points, and with my blanket up over my eyes at others. Now this movie did not quite get the credit it deserved back in 2009, when it was originally released. It has now become a classic teen horror about a girl who gets turned into a demon (Megan Fox) and eats boys...I mean come on, this is the feminist icon we’ve needed. Why this movie was tragically targeted to the male population when it was first released...we will never know (or we will, cause there’s a thousand articles about it, and we tend to advertise everything towards them, can we like stop?), but one thing is for sure, I am all in for this bisexual, boy-eating demon. The commentary ranges from sexuality, to teenage girl relationships, to loss of innocence, we’ve got it all in this horror comedy.
Midsommar: I warn you with this one...it is not for the faint of heart. There are some real unsettling scenes in this one, and the creepy background music or characters do not make it any easier to swallow. But I have included it because I must admit, it is a fantastically made horror movie. It’s one of those movies where you are given little hints and easter eggs along the way, and you think you know where it’s going and how it’s going to end and then...BAM a twist throws you right off. This movie is brilliant, and terrifying. And it’s about cults! (A subject of fascination for me). Again, without giving too much away, the movie is about a girl named Dani (Florence Pugh) and her journey through grief and belonging as she just lost her family. Her boyfriend Chrisitan totally sucks (I mean are we really surprised?), unsupportive, and forgets her birthday, I mean, I am not an expert in greek tragedies, but come on. Enjoy this one, and again, not for the faint of heart, there are some really triggering scenes in this movie, so be sure to be in a good mental state while watching.
Ok, Looking to be spooked...I hope I did it for ya! Enjoy these horror flicks, tis’ the season! Grab ya spiced cider, a nice big blanket to cover your eyes, and popcorn to nervously chew during those really intense scenes.
Happy spooky szn,
Caro
DJ M0RO’s low-key Music Show
It’s been a low-energy week for me so here are some tunes that have kept me moving and literally dancing as I pretend like I’m not tired af.
Number One Popstar is the moniker of multi-media artist, choreographer, and director Kate Hallowell, who is a really entertaining Insta follow. She released her first single called Psycho a week ago and I think you’re going to really enjoy the blend of cynicism, whackiness, and infectious dance beat. Please please please don’t miss the video for this one either.
New music from Mdou Moctar, who I’ve recently been turned on to and am listening to a lot of these days. The single is called Chismiten and there’s a good amount of times I felt like I was witnessing the music IRL, so if you’re nostalgic for live concerts (really who isn’t) this is helpful, and the video is pretty groovy. I learned about Moctar the way I think probably a lot of westerners did - through his Teurag cover of Purple Rain. AKOUNAK TEDALAT TAHA TAZOUGHAI (“Rain the Color Blue with a Little Red In It”) reimagines Prince’s Purple Rain set against the desert city of Agadez, Niger, so you don’t want to miss that either.
In the department of silly stage names, please enjoy Ritt Momney’s cover remix of a classic fav Put Your Records On. His story is actually pretty interesting - beginning as an indie rock band comprised of high school friends, the project became a personal outlet for Jack Rutter after his bandmates left on Mormon missions and his girlfriend left for college. Last year he released “Her and All of My Friends,” in which Rutter grapples with loss, loneliness, and a drift away from Mormon culture.
*Hot Goss*
Brought to you by the superb Latifah Azlan.
About a month ago, news broke that rapper Cardi B was divorcing her husbandOffset. It was quite a mature announcement, no drama afoot. Cardi B simply said that she got tired of Offset's behavior -- of "arguing," of "not seeing eye-to-eye" -- although she did go out of her way to stress that it wasn't about his cheating. Personally, I don't fully believe that given the fact that Offset's indiscretions were quite public. He's been known to cheat on Cardi B not only throughout their marriage, but even before too. So it was surprising that the couple split up but not shocking to anyone who follows them closely.
At the time the divorce was filed, Cardi B said there was "no hope for reconciliation." I'm guessing she's changed her mind since 30 days ago because reports are coming out that she's basically back with Offset now and are starting to rekindle their romance. Cardi B attended Offset's birthday party recently, where they kissed and she's now telling people that they've reconciled.
You know what this is? This is that one friend in your life that you have -- we all have that friend -- who thrives off the drama of an on-and-off relationship and sees this whole setup as like, the pinnacle of romance or something. This is that friend who cries about their lousy partner and knows that you're going to tell them to just leave the situation for good but doesn't actually take your advice. This is that friend that you eventually give up on and let them do whatever they want because they clearly don't care, so why should you? Yes, Cardi B is that friend. Cardi B is that girl. I had to spend a few months this year having to deal with my own That Friend™ so this is all fresh in my mind for me. If I were to be nice to Cardi B about her decisions, I'd say that it might be that she's trying to reconcile with Offset yet again because they have a daughter together. But then again, you can also be friendly co-parents without falling into romance and starting the whole cycle of drama again and again and again. So I don't know what the goal is here but I'm over it. I'm done dissecting this relationship for ~*Hot Goss*~ so don't send me links to the next break up announcement because I won't read it.